Jakhon nirobe dure..... Darao ese..
Jekhane path bekechhe..
Tomai chhute chaoyar muhurtora
Ke jane ki abeshe dishehara..!
When all of a sudden you wake up in the midst of a nightmare.... the nightmare that takes you back to the memories which you hoped you have so confidently dumped with lots and lots of other damn things..... but then you realize that with every moment someone has lived deep inside you, made a deep impact...... you realize that you have actually been changed from what you were to what you are.......
you walk upto the huge glass window, with that big BLACK curtain safely guarding your privacy from the outside world..... you look out and it strikes you that you cannot actually feel those warm, assuring hands on your forehead anymore..... in a sudden flash you are back at the point when you were waiting for someone to show up with an anticipation that she would be coming only for you..... but then you wake from the dream with a jolt..... to realize that you traveled half-way across the globe in search for that queer feeling only to be rebuked at.... in a flash it reminds you have that huge void you felt when the only person u believed to be close to you...chose to stay away..... . . .
you realized that you are actually unwelcome here..... did it shatter you? did it break you down? Strangely you were surprised to see that you just became silent.... you couldn't argue.... nothing in life really seemed to attach or attract you... when you looked up in the mirror... you could actually see the wall behind you... you realised you saw through yourself........... it dawned that you are non-existent even to yourself.... so what next.....
life was never the same before or after..... over the past year... your shield has taken a 1000 batterings.... some verbal...some silent.... numerous times your words have cut through in a flash .....only to realize that it hurt you more cause you never intended to hurt the other person...... how could you....you realize that you fight yourself........ in the end it's you who lose..... even today when the silent letters fill up the walls...and like unforgiving spirits cut through every inch of your very existence....................... when you come back to your cubicle at the end of the day... you glance at the empty seat...then just before you logoff.... a blinking communicator window catches you eye..... the silent words that keeps you haunting again and again "it was something else you were looking for........." and u feel a warm droplet slowly making its way down.....somehow u try to feel which is more empty you or the office.................................
you realized that you are actually unwelcome here..... did it shatter you? did it break you down? Strangely you were surprised to see that you just became silent.... you couldn't argue.... nothing in life really seemed to attach or attract you... when you looked up in the mirror... you could actually see the wall behind you... you realised you saw through yourself........... it dawned that you are non-existent even to yourself.... so what next.....
life was never the same before or after..... over the past year... your shield has taken a 1000 batterings.... some verbal...some silent.... numerous times your words have cut through in a flash .....only to realize that it hurt you more cause you never intended to hurt the other person...... how could you....you realize that you fight yourself........ in the end it's you who lose..... even today when the silent letters fill up the walls...and like unforgiving spirits cut through every inch of your very existence....................... when you come back to your cubicle at the end of the day... you glance at the empty seat...then just before you logoff.... a blinking communicator window catches you eye..... the silent words that keeps you haunting again and again "it was something else you were looking for........." and u feel a warm droplet slowly making its way down.....somehow u try to feel which is more empty you or the office.................................
2 comments:
i can hardly say anything more... the essence of the feelings which you have so beautifully captured in the simple words....i can so much recognize with dose lines ... spell bounding
great work !!!
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